on being vulnerable

Hi!

​Let’s face it – it’s risky letting yourself be vulnerable. You open yourself to all kinds of possible emotions, both good and bad. Getting hurt by someone you’re choosing to be vulnerable with is frankly the worst! And I know you’ve heard this before, but if you protect yourself all the time because you don’t want to get hurt (think how you’ve been hurt before and how horrible that can feel), you will never feel good!
 
Well – February is the month of love – mostly we think of this as romantic love, although I’ve always given my children Valentine’s Day gifts. And yes – they’ve usually involved chocolate – LOL! Okay, chocolate is definitely one of my addictions – true confessions – and I prefer the dark kind. It has less sugar usually and the most health benefits.
 
But let’s get back to the topic of vulnerability. Some professionals say that allowing yourself to be vulnerable means you’re being genuine, authentic – both great traits that help make up healthy relationships. It can show a sense of belonging. It fosters intimacy, compassion, connection to others.
 
It can also improve your self-esteem by accepting and embracing those parts of yourself, and these are especially important if they leave you feeling vulnerable. Allowing yourself to feel vulnerable not only is healthy for your self-esteem, but also your sense of self-efficacy. This means you believe in your ability to do things, like handle difficult life situations, and can build your own resiliency and strength.
 
Being vulnerable, especially depending on your previous life experiences, can also leave you feeling disappointed, shamed, grieving, and fearful. This can lead to a sense of abandonment. It’s also called rejection.
 
Choosing to feel vulnerable in my opinion should be done with forethought and care. If you know someone is abusive and/or rejecting, why put yourself in a position of vulnerability with that individual? So, be smart about it. While I would encourage you to take some chances, don’t set yourself up for something negative.
 
Choosing to be vulnerable takes a lot of courage. It means you are being brave. That is a good thing! If you worry less about what others think of you, you are already ahead. Most everyone has their own internal struggles.
 
You don’t have to be perfect! Show me a human being who says they are perfect, and I will say they are lacking self-awareness. Being vulnerable means being imperfect. So don’t hold yourself up to that ideal. Instead, just aim for becoming a better human being. Love your imperfect self – embrace your imperfect self – and just try to learn from any situation you encounter. Also embrace all the wonderful positives you embody – don’t just look to correct something in yourself you think may not be good enough.
 
Hang with other individuals who are also on a positive life journey. Keeping very negative people in your inner circle of friends and family may have a dampening effect on your very positive personal growth.
 
Today I want to leave you with a positive sense of self. You can do this! I believe in you, and you can safely believe in yourself.
 
And as always, please have a happy, holistically healthy day.
 
Dr. P 

Holistic Guides