I am incredibly sad. I am grieving. A few weeks ago, I lost the love of my life to a very untimely and inexplicable death.
I am sadder than I can even begin to say. I have resorted somewhat to carb loading, especially at night (although I am happy with healthy carbs) to take the edge off my pain. I kept close to my friends and family.
I used essential oils and binaural beats, especially at night when I was hurting the most.
I have been mindful in this process, being careful to contain weight gain (I topped this off at 5 pounds), while giving myself the space to treat my unbearable pain with my tried and true method of coping that is not very healthy – eating.
I understood exactly what I was doing and I did not condemn myself.
Six weeks later, I can tell you that I am functioning better overall, sleeping better, losing the extra pounds, I have improved my nutrition and am making a very concerted effort to restore my overall sense of wellbeing and wanting to engage in my life. I am using my faith more than ever.
I no longer feel like crying throughout the day (although I still cry at times), and the pain of this loss is diminished…less intense.
I am a work in progress. I am still sad, but am making progress. I seem to have bottomed out about 4 weeks after he died, and have been making a slow ascent for the past couple of weeks.
Is it healthy to grieve? You bet it is. Without allowing the grief a right of passage, I am in danger of going into a deep depression and perhaps needing to be hospitalized. But a healthy approach back to regaining my emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical balance should keep my head above water, treading, while I lead myself back to full health. I want this.
I will never forget my wonderful friend, but I will love again. I promised myself that I would.
Dr. Donna Poppendieck (Dr. P) has over 30 years of experience in the mental health care field. She is a seasoned college professor and instructor for providers. She uses credible, proven holistic health strategies in instruction for parents of children with mental health challenges looking for another approach as well as healthcare providers seeking to implement or understand holistic strategies.